I’m very critical of my art.
I put a lot of effort into my illustrations, but each time I finish a piece I can’t help but clearly see all the flaws: The anatomy is wrong, the subject not interesting enough, those details distracting, or I’ve been lazy in some other aspect. There is always something I see that can be improved!
But to me, it’s not so much of an issue, nor something that takes away my joy of making art.
It took me some time to learn it, but setting high personal standards doesn’t mean beating yourself up.
What’s damaging (and often counterproductive) is not recognizing that our art could improve, but the story we tell ourselves around this.
“My art is bad, therefore I’m a bad artist”
“I’ve been bad for so long, therefore I cannot improve”
“I’m a bad artist, art is my life, therefore I’m a bad person”
“Others could have done it better”
These judgments we tell ourselves are not logical, and have truly nothing to do with the art itself.
I sometimes still get those thoughts. I’ve been drawing for more than a decade, but I’ve started to be happy with my work only 2 years ago - and yet, my standards keep rising. Each time I progress to a new level in composition, colors, details, I see that I can do better.
Here are the things that helped me cope with this:
1) Recognizing that art - or any skill - is an infinite game
Finite games have clear rules and win conditions. The goal of a finite game is to win.
Infinite games have loose rules and no win conditions. The goal of an infinite game is to keep the game going.
Improving at art is an infinite game.
Instead of stressing over how long you’ve been practicing a skill and how good you should be by this point, recognize that there is no final destination. There is no end state to your skill where you will be so good that there will be nothing left to learn.
By recognizing it, you can embrace the journey instead of stressing out about the outcome in front of you. You’re not here to be the best, nor to be enough.
Once you are committed to play the game, keeping it going is the only goal.
2) Seeking the truth without lying to yourself
Being delusional about one’s skill is a self-lie, but being overly harsh is just as wrong.
The judgments I talked about earlier are a leap we are doing without basis. Being a beginner or struggling after years of practice doesn’t change your value as a person.
Facing the truth is a very scary thing to do, that’s why we like to interpret and judge. But doing this is the only way to either:
- improve (you cannot become better by facing away from what you’re lacking) or
- make peace with your reality (You can touch people with flawed art. And there is no need to worry if it’s just for yourself).
My art will never meet my standards. I will keep improving, and my standards will increase accordingly. Recognizing this allowed me to not only improve, but also enjoy and be proud of my work - however flawed.
And if you can’t help but tell yourself stories, realize that you are in power to choose how the story goes.
